Ironic

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Baldrick: I have a cunning plan to save the king.
Edmund Blackadder: Ha! Well forgive me if I don’t do a cartwheel of joy; your family’s history in the department of cunning planning is about as impressive as Stumpy O’Leg McNolegs’ personal best in the Market Harborough marathon.

Since John Howard began stacking the Board of what he was determined would become His ABC, there is absolutely no doubt that the political philosophy of, and reporting by, that once great neutral public broadcaster has, like its role model the BBC, swung sharply to the very right of the conservative end of the Australian political spectrum and beyond into the wastelands of right wing think tankism, libertarianism and tea partyism.

No doubt about the techniques used to achieve this, nor about the result, but, just as in the choice between conspiracy and stuff up to explain a disaster, some doubt about the logic behind it. Well, doubt in my mind anyway, as an avid consumer of ABC news and current affairs for 60 years who has refused to watch any in the last 5 years or so. A doubt brought into even sharper focus by the recent Federal Budget brought down by the “Enemies of the ABC” government which has slashed huge sums from the ABC budget and is now to force them to outsource all production. The end, as demanded by the Liberal Party scriptwriter, the IPA, is nigh for Australia’s public broadcaster.

The doubt? Well we can look at it two ways. The change to the ABC could be the result of fundamentalist political beliefs, or a cunning plan gone wrong in catastrophic Baldrickian fashion. The first theory would point out that, as Keating might say, if you change the Board and senior management of an organisation you change the organisation in a trickle-down effect. Boards appoint politically simpatico senior managers, who in turn appoint like-minded middle managers, who in turn appoint right-minded producers, editors, reporters, presenters. By the time the last appointment is made you have a public broadcaster made in the form of the mind of John Howard.

The second, Baldrickian theory is this. Faced, once the Rudd-Gillard political totentanz began, with the inevitability, apparently sooner rather than later, of an Abbott Murdoch-puppet-government working through an IPA wish list featuring prominently the privatisation of the ABC, and the dismantling (or sale to Murdoch) of the Australia Network, senior management seized on a survival plan. All News bulletins would lead with “The Opposition (ie the Liberals) said today….” restricting any government rebuttals. No government policies or plans would be treated positively. News items would be extensively derived from News Ltd papers, or radio shock jocks, each day. Commentary would be obtained almost entirely from News Ltd reporters and columnists, reliably right wing academics, former Howard ministers, former Labor ministers known for their now far-Right views, IPA staff current and former, vox pops chosen to be critical of government. The same unholy chorus of right wing ideologues would appear on every current affairs show, vastly outnumbering the occasional presence of David Marr or a Labor minister.

Presenters and political reporters would be either known for their anti-Labor proclivities, or be under instruction that all reporting/interviewing was to be on the basis of Liberal Good, Labor Bad. That no scurrilous rumour undermining the government should be left unreported, no examination of Liberal policies was to occur. That satirical programs ridiculing Gillard and Rudd were to be encouraged, but that Abbott was to be given a Menzies aura. The ABC credibility as a serious independent neutral public broadcaster was used to give credibility to News Ltd, the IPA, and the Liberal Party. The prospect of the imminent arrival of an Abbott government was turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy by the ABC on September 7, 2013.

But if the ABC had been turned into a Libertarian wet dream by a trickle of neoconservative ideology, or if this was the cunning plan for the survival of the ABC as a public broadcaster, what went wrong in May 2014? Months of attacks on the “left wing bias” of the ABC by ministers and News Ltd continued in the lead-up to the Budget in which the worst fears of the few remaining Friends of the ABC were realised.

Well, there was just one tiny flaw in the cunning plan (if cunning plan it was), hardly worth mentioning really. But it relied on members of the government sharing a belief with the rest of the country that the ABC was a very important national institution, a fundamental part of Australia, and that pouring right wing ideology into it would be enough to encourage the Liberal Party to keep it intact. That if they heard a chorus of right wing voices singing from the Menzies House song book on ABC every day they would see it as useful in their plans for a thousand-year rule.

Trouble is they didn’t and don’t. With Murdoch and the shock jocks on side they saw no need for an ABC, that given, as it were, a choice between a real News Limited and a Public Broadcaster who acts like a Murdoch mouth piece, a Liberal will vote for his real Masters Voice every time.

So, whether a plan or not, moving to the Right won the ABC no reprieve from the Liberal government, while at the same time it lost it all the support of those of the Centre and Left who were once friends of the Corporation and would once have massively demonstrated in its support.

Blackadder: Baldrick, have you no idea what “irony” is?
Baldrick: Yes, it’s like “goldy” and “bronzy” only it’s made out of iron.

Some of the people

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The Tea Partyish “Liberal” Party of Australia politicians and spin doctors have realised that the voters are now irrelevant in a western democracy. You only have to satisfy some of the people all of time:
1. Media owners, especially R Murdoch.
2. Mining magnates, especially Gina, Twiggy and Clive
3. Right wing think tanks IPA and CIS.
4. American multinational corporation CEOs
5. Media shock jocks
6. Heads of IMF and World Bank

Perhaps a sum total of 50 people, 100 tops?

The other 23 million people in Australia are now irrelevant all of the time.

The Labor Party seems to have reached the same conclusion.

As have political parties in America, UK, France, Germany…
Discuss.

Play up play up

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The last football match I went to, forty years ago, was Coventry Reserves playing Preston North End Reserves (starring an ancient Nobby Styles) in 1974. I say this to demonstrate my lack of interest in football as a spectator sport rather than for any historic interest (other than the aforesaid young Nobby) in that game itself.

Oh, I have watched on tv the odd cup and grand final since then, read an occasional analytical piece on, say, “the future of rugby league” – I always aim to be able to hold my end up for two minutes in a discussion on any subject, part of being civilised. But no more than 2 minutes on sport.
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Substitute

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All those photos of psychopathic morons proudly showing the bleeding bodies of lions, giraffes, bears, wolves, elephants they have blasted with high-powered penis substitutes? Guess they think we will be envious of their prowess.

Makes good people not envious but sick to their stomachs seeing these vicious fools posed with their killing machines with foot triumphantly on top of the body of their victims. Makes them determined perhaps to try to stop this evil.
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Yes Really

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The United Nations has announced that in future this day, St Rupert’s Day, will be the one day of the year on which politicians and media outlets are required by law to publish material only of a factual nature, based on evidence, scientific evidence especially, related to the real world.

“Only fair”, said the UN president, a Mr Twain, “every other day of the year there is an outpouring of spin, false balance, fakery, slogans, media stunts – as if media and politics was conducted in a sideshow alley at a fair in some parallel universe of constructed reality”. “There should be one day”, he added, “when citizens of the world could open newspapers, turn on tv, listen to political speeches, confident that what they were seeing and hearing was real”.

Mark (“call me Mark” he told the assembled Press scrum) also suggested that after a few years of observing reality on one day of the year there might be a demand from the public for a second such day, but he wasn’t totally confident about this. They have been fed on a daily diet of rubbish for years, he said, and they may have a lot of trouble adjusting.

Pixels made flesh

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“What do we want?”
“A slogan.”
“When do we want it?”
“Now.”

Went to the Canberra “March in March” protest today, so need to write about it. Everyone else has written about their own experiences among the 100,000 plus people who marched in cities and towns all over Australia in last three days, so I should too. 100,000 people, by the way, virtually ignored by the media (except to complain about one or two signs, out of thousands, with a rude word or two, in order to discredit the event), but whose actions, just 6 months into the term of a new government, are unprecedented.

The Canberra event was much like the other events everywhere. It all had a pleasantly amateurish feel – no professional protesters or rent-a-crowd here. Ordinary people with no second names (“I’m Jim” “I’m Lisa” and so on) standing in front of an “open mic”, most clearly for the first time, saying in a few stumbling, and in one case tearful, words, why they had made the effort to come. Young and old, radical-looking and very conservative, men and women (about equal numbers), straight and gay, Aboriginal and “indigenous” (as one Aboriginal speaker put it), local Canberra and “from Goulburn” “from Newcastle” “from overseas”, healthy and not-so-healthy.
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Down down

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As I write the hunt for any sign of the missing Malaysian Airlines Boeing 777 is still proceeding unsuccessfully.

These events bring out the worst in the media, and I find another reason to avoid watching tv news bulletins. The shameful sight of a paparazzi gang at the airport surrounding frightened and frantic relatives of passengers is enough to turn my stomach, and again make me wonder at the morality of the media. Also interviews of relatives on tv programs, questions designed to elicit grief and tears which alert cameramen are ready to close focus on. And nonsense about “fate” and “miracles” and prayers, and stories of people who almost caught the plane but didn’t or did catch the plane when they shouldn’t have.
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Lights out

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The last time an Australian Labor leader came up with a phrase that was both memorable and of positive benefit to the Party was Ben Chifley’s ‘Light on the Hill’. So good was it, in fact, that the media have deliberately tried to turn it into a joke phrase.

Oddly, the phrase is part of an otherwise forgettable piece of prose:

I try to think of the Labor movement, not as putting an extra sixpence into somebody’s pocket, or making somebody Prime Minister or Premier, but as a movement bringing something better to the people, better standards of living, greater happiness to the mass of the people. We have a great objective – the light on the hill – which we aim to reach by working the betterment of mankind not only here but anywhere we may give a helping hand. If it were not for that, the Labor movement would not be worth fighting for.

Indeed the memorable ‘light’ part bears no obvious relation to the rest of the worthy description, and that in turn, though it is worthy, is totally unclear. ‘Better standards of living’? ‘Greater happiness’? You see what he is trying to get at, but it is no ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness’, is it?
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The buck stops here

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“The man who is not a socialist at twenty has no heart, but if he is still a socialist at forty he has no head.” (Aristide Briand (1862-1932)) Well, Aristide, Prime Minister of France 11 times, was certainly a Socialist when young, but perhaps felt himself as an international statesmen becoming more right-wing as he became older.

It is an aphorism that is endlessly quoted, with knowing smirks, by the Right, most famously by Churchill, trying to counteract the opposite observation – “Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative.” – by John Stuart Mill. And trying to counteract modern studies showing that politically conservative people have on average a lower IQ than politically progressive people.

Not the point I want to discuss though, though related.
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Exempt from public haunt

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“And this our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything” (As you like it)

Was thinking about blog inspiration the other day, by pure chance, not struggling with writers block, not me, nosireebob. One of my twitterfriends, HD Rebner, was wondering where his new ideas for tweets were going to come from, and for some reason Duke Senior’s words came to mind. Perhaps they in turn arose from Bill Shakespeare having a writer’s block (but heaven knows, any he did have must have been as brief as Charles Dickens’ writer’s blocks!), wondering where the next inspiration would appear.

Don’t know about other bloggers but Duke Senior’s prescription seemed pretty good for Watermelon. If I wanted to be a world famous blogger I would be a single-topic blogger – American politics, cake decorating, atheism, climate change, media – and just keep hammering away at that topic day after day. But that would bore me silly, and bore you, my faithful followers used to a smorgasbord of subjects, a pot pourri of polemic, a passing parade of media topics, an harangue about history, silly as well I think.

So on we go, exempt from public haunt, finding sermons, tongues, books, as I stare out of the windows of Wuthering Heights. But not sure about the “good in everything” – think that would bore us both too.

And blogging fame may just have to wait a little longer.